


there was no one in the world who could take it.

by transgendergerard



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) RPF
Genre: Angst, Gay Rami Malek, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 07:58:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17096864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgendergerard/pseuds/transgendergerard
Summary: You and Rami just recently announced that you’re a couple, but some blog has posted that Rami just broke up with his "girlfriend even" though you’re his boyfriend.





	there was no one in the world who could take it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! Sorry I haven't posted a fic in a few weeks. I had finals week (passed all my classes!Yeeet!) and now it's Christmas break so I didn't really have time to write anything, but I wrote this late last night so sorry if it is not my best. Also - the smut is towards the end of the fic so if you're not okay with reading smut you can skip it if you need to :) and there is misgendering and people using deadnames but it's not explicit. I just wanted to point that out if you're not okay with reading that kind of stuff. Hope you enjoy the fic! 
> 
> Y/D/N - your dead name. 
> 
> Y/P/N - your preferred name. 
> 
> Send me prompts on tumblr! www.transgendergerard.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> The title is from Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift :)

You’ve gotten used to waking up in sheets that aren’t yours. Your boyfriend has taken on the role of Freddie Mercury for the movie Bohemian Rhapsody and he’s currently doing the whole press junkie thing right now and has brought you on for the ride. That means going to bed and waking up in a different hotel room each day, but you don’t mind it if that means you get to be with Rami. Today was different though because Rami wasn’t next to you on the bed on when you woke up. You moved your hand to his side of the bed and started to panic before you found a small note with Rami’s handwriting on it.

 

Dear y/p/n,

 

Good morning, handsome! I’m sorry you didn’t get to wake up to my beautiful face this morning, but I had an early breakfast this morning with the Bohemian crew that I forgot to tell you about. I should be back around noonish.

 

Love,

 

Your Rami.

 

You smiled at yourself instead of feeling sad that your boyfriend wasn’t here with you. You put the note on your bedside table and laid back down. Deciding to go back asleep instead of staying up and not knowing what to do in a city you’ve never been to.

 

It was quite a while until you woke up again. You yawned and stretched your arms before you looked at your phone. It was almost noon which meant Rami should be getting back soon. With your boyfriend on your mind, you checked your phone and found out he texted you a few minutes ago.

 

Hello, love! The breakfast was loving and now we’re doing junkies. It looks like I won’t get back around 2. Sorry for coming back late. R x

 

y/p/n that’s fine Rami! I understand. Hope you’re able to enjoy yourself:)

 

Rami I am actually, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself more once I get back to you.

 

Your cheeks blushed after you read that.

 

I’m sure about that. Love you. I’ll see you later x

 

You laugh at yourself at your boyfriend's texts. After you texted him you looked at the news app to see what was currently trending. Most of it was things you’ve already seen or heard about and didn’t pay much attention to, but this one article made your heart stop and you had to look at the title of it multiple times to see what it was talking about what it actually talking about.

 

Is Rami Malek thinking about breaking up with girlfriend (d/f/n) (l/n)? Close sources say it’s likely.

 

You’re not sure what to focus on. The fact that they misgendered you, or called you by your deadname. Having someone talk to the writer who you don’t even know to say things that maybe could be true but you’re not sure. Does Rami really think about those things about you? Are you really not good enough for him and he wished he was dating an actual man? You know you’re still a man even though you haven’t had any surgeries and haven’t started hormones, but maybe Rami doesn’t think the same way. Maybe he says what you want to hear just to keep you around long enough to get what he wants, which was sex. You start to feel anxiety and panic go up your body and worst, you start to feel the worst gender dysphoria you’ve had since before you realized you are transgender. You flip yourself where you were laying on your stomach and moved the duvet over your body, hiding yourself from the world. And then tears start to come out of your eyes and they wouldn’t stop. Rami doesn’t love you and he just wants someone around for convince. He just handles with you not having the right parts and is probably planning on leaving you soon. Your tears start to get bigger and you’re not sure when they will stop coming out of your eyes. You were able to keep your mind straight long enough to decide to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

 

You look at yourself in the mirror and your face was a huge mess. All red and tears all over it. Your short hair was a mess from hiding under the duvet. You turn the water on and splashed some to your face to make it look like you weren’t crying. You looked at your body and noticed Rami’s tank top that you wore to bed the night before. It’s the white one he wore during the live aid performance of Bohemian and it was the one thing from the set he got to keep. You started to wear it at night so you didn’t have to wear your binder at night because that wasn’t good for your body. But you were too mad at the world to be wearing something of Rami’s so you yanked the take top off, not caring if it ripped or something else happened to it.

 

Taking off the tank top made you look at your bare chest and thus making you look at your breasts that you still have. Taking off the take top was probably a bad idea because now you can’t breathe and more tears started to come out of your eyes. You feel yourself start to move to the floor of the bathroom and hide your head in your lap. Just sitting on the bathroom floor crying. You’re not sure if the tears are going to stop or that you even care if they’ll stop.

 

You don’t know how long you spent crying on the bathroom floor and you really didn’t want to know what time it was, but you heard the hotel room door open and it could only be one person, and that was Rami. And he was the last person you wanted to see, but you had the face what was about to come.

 

“Y/p/n! Y/p/n, where are you?” You heard Rami’s voice through the seemingly empty hotel room. You waited for a moment to reply back to him.

 

“I’m… I’m in the bathroom.” You said back to him. The sound of your voice made Rami start to worry. Are you okay? Why are you in the bathroom? He didn’t go in as soon as you answered. He went to the door and knocked on it.

 

“Y/p/n, are you okay, darling? Is it okay if I came in?” He asked. He started to call you darling while filming for Bohemian as Freddie would call anyone that pet name. You signed before you replied back.

 

“Yeah, it’s okay to come in.” You say even though it’s really not okay. But it’s not like the worst situation your boyfriend has found you in.

 

Rami opened the door slowly and let out a gasp. He wasn’t prepared to see you on the bathroom floor, face covered in fresh tears.

 

“Y/p/n, what’s wrong? What happened?” Rami says quietly. He kneels down to your level and moves his hands to your face. He moves your head so you can look into his eyes.

 

“Y/p/n, can you tell me why you’re in your boxers on the bathroom floor?” Your boyfriend asks with such honest consider but you just can’t make yourself give him the same amount of honest.

 

“I just… I woke up with a horrible migraine and my stomach was upset.” You lied. You never get migraines now because you’re on birth control, but people have other reasons for having migraines so you go with it.

 

Rami runs his hand through your face and kisses your forehead.

 

“Oh, y/p/n, I’m sorry you’re not feeling good. Do you think you could walk to the bed or do you want me to carry you?” He asks.

 

“Yeah, I think I can walk to the bed.” You say. You get up and open the bathroom door. Rami grabs his tank top off the floor, not even paying attention that you’re shirtless and your breasts are showing. All he cares about that you’re not feeling good, but you can’t tell him it was because of him. You can’t.

 

Rami wraps his arm around your bare waist and you’re too tired to tell him to not touch you. He walks you to the bed and helps you get in the bed. He goes to the front of the bed and unzips his suitcase to find a small bag and gets some Advil our of it. Then he quickly goes back to the bathroom to get a cup of water. He comes back and gives you water and medicine.

 

“Here. You can take it in another four hours if you’re still feeling bad.” He says as he moves his hands in your short hair. You take the medicine and your head starts to feel a little better.

 

“Thanks.” You say. Rami doesn’t reply instead of walk to his side of the bed and gets into it. He moves you so you’re laying on his chest, running his hands up and down your back. Trying to calm you down.

 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” You tell your boyfriend.

 

“It’s fine, y/p/n, I’d rather see you like this than not seeing you at all.” He replies back. You try to believe him but you just can’t so you just hmm instead and not give an actual answer.

 

It was quiet for a few minutes before you speak up again.

 

“Rami, can you sing to me, please?” You asked. You’ve gotten accustomed to hearing Rami’s singing voice while he was filming Bohemian and got excited when you two are out with friends and you were doing karaoke that night. Right after filming was over it was more common than not coming home from your job and find Rami in the kitchen singing along to Queen.

 

“Sure, Love. What do you want me to sing?” Rami asks softly.

 

“Can you sing Love of my Life?” You eventually replied. Not caring which song you wanted to hear as long as it was Rami’s voice.

 

“Love of my life, you’ve hurt me. You’ve broken my heart and now you leave me

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don’t take it away from me, because you don’t know

What it means to me..” Your boyfriend only finishes the first verse when you shut your eyes and go to sleep. Not feeling the same anxiety and panic feelings as this morning.

 

Rami looks at his phone while you were sleeping on his chest. His phone buzzes and sees that Brian May himself has texted him.

 

Brian M: Is y/p/n okay? I read that terrible article and was worried if he was doing okay. bri

 

Article? What article is Brian talking about? Rami asks himself.

 

Rami: I haven’t heard about an article, but he wasn’t feeling good when I came back. He said he had a migraine so he’s asleep right now. What article are you talking about?

 

Rami starts to feel anxiety fill up his body. Why would Brian be worried about them?

 

Brian M: It was this article that called y/p/n your “girlfriend” and said you two are breaking up. I hope that isn’t true because you two are a lovely couple. Do you want a link? bri

 

The article called Rami’s boyfriend his “girlfriend”? He’s not sure if he wants to read an article that goes out of its way to misgender someone.

Rami: yeah, I want a link. Thanks bri.

 

Brian M: *link* you’re welcome. I hope y/p/n feels better soon. bri

 

Rami: thanks. And I’ll tell him you said that. See you tomorrow.

 

Rami taps on the link Brian sent him and braces for the worst. And that’s what he gets. He actually gets something way worse what he was expecting.

 

“Oh, y/p/n.” Rami breathes out. Now he understands why his boyfriend was so upset when he got back. This article totally ripped him apart and made it look like Rami was done with him, which wasn’t the case at all. Y/p/n was the love of his life and planned on staying with y/p/n forever. He can’t wait for y/p/n to wake up and remain him that he stills love him. But for right now he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and makes sure it’s almost impossible to let the boy out of his lap. He moves his thumb up and down your hip, and whispers I love you to you even though you’re already fast asleep.

 

It was 9 am the next morning when Rami woke up first. He actually had the day off today so you guys got to sleep in today, but Rami couldn’t stay asleep knowing why you’re so upset. He feels you move in his lap, trying to get comfortable. You’re stretched out in the bed like a cat and it made Rami laugh a little. He kisses your neck and that got you to open your eyes. You yawn and quickly close your eyes again, not wanting to be awake.

 

“Good morning, my love. You’re feeling better?” Your boyfriend asks you as he messes with your hair.

 

“Yeah, I am actually. Thanks for caring for me yesterday.” You said.

 

“No problem, my love. That’s my job as your boyfriend.” Rami says and laughs.

 

It was quiet for a while, you two taking in time of being alone with each other. You haven’t been able to be alone with each other like this since filming started so you’re going to soak up every last bit of this day. You moved so you could kiss Rami’s neck, receiving a moan from your boyfriend. You only get to kiss a small portion of his neck before he stops you.

 

“Y/p/n, I think we need to talk about yesterday.” He says. You remove your eyes from their view of his face to the bed sheets, now suddenly caring about how many threads the sheets have. You hide your face in your boyfriend’s neck and decides to speak again.

 

“Y/p/n, Brian texted me the article yesterday. Why didn’t you tell me it was the reason you were upset yesterday?” He asks with a soft voice.

 

“Because… because you would laugh at me for being able to get affected by things easily. And because what it said is true.” You breathe.

 

“What did it say that you think is true, love?” Rami asks.

 

“That I’m not a real man. That you’re only with me for convince. That when you’re not with me you get with the nearest gay man and sleep with him because he has the right parts and I don’t. Everything really. Everything they said was right.” You replied with tears treating to come out of your eyes. You’re starting to shake in your boyfriend's arms and didn't know what to do. You feel your boyfriend flip you where you’re now laying on your back in the bed and Rami is in between your legs, looking up and down at your basically naked body.

 

“Y/p/n, none of that is true. Not a single word. You’re my boyfriend, and I love you because of you. Not because of the parts you may or may not have. You’re the bravest man I know. And I’m so happy to have you by my side and experiencing life with you. You mean the world to me and I can’t imagine a world where you’re not my boyfriend. I love you, y/p/n y/l/n.” Rami says. You don’t know what to say, your breathe has been taken away with your boyfriend just said. But it looks like your answer doesn’t matter as his lips find themselves on yours and start kissing you.

 

He kisses you with the same amount of passion he has when he was filming Bohemian and it made you breathless. His hands find their way to right under your breasts and he’s kissing your neck. He kisses go lower until he hits the waistband of your boxers. He stops what he’s doing and looks up at you.

 

“Y/p/n, I’m with you because I love you. I’m with you because for so long there was a y/p/n missing piece from my life and I don’t ever want to lose it. I’m with you because you make me want to be a better person. I’m with you because you make me believe that there are good things in the world.” Rami finishes. You can’t find any words to say so your hands move to his neck and jaw and starts kissing him. Giving him the same amount of passion he was showing you. It wasn’t long before he took complete control of the situation at hand. His hands found their way to the waistband of your boxers before he asked you a question. 

"Y/p/n, is it okay if I?" He asks. 

"Yeah, It's okay Rami." You replied back. 

He kisses your stomach while he takes off your boxers in one go. It wasn't long until you felt him inside you. You started to feel how close you were and had to tell him before the climax. 

 

“I’m… I'm close Rami.” You said. And he looked at you because you looked like it. Your messy hair and full eyes. He nods at you, letting you know you can go and release yourself, and then it was over. You find yourself on Rami’s chest again, it's messy but neither of you cared. All you cared about was you were trying to get your breath back.

 

“Thank you, Rami. For everything.” You say while moving your fingers on his chest. 

 

“You’re welcome, y/p/n. I have no problem showing you how much I love you until the day you finally understand what those words mean.” He replies, giving your neck a small kiss. You don’t reply, you didn’t need too. Instead, you put his hand with yours and hold it. Trying to show him you never want to let him go and always want to be by his side through all of this. That through all of this you are his, and you’ve finally understood that.


End file.
